Kinky Cocktail Hour: Season 1 Episode 161 🥂Sex in a Cage (a.k.a. Tuxedo)🥂

In this episode, Lady Petra and Saffer Master discuss Breath Play, KnIfe Play and Power Dynamics with Dutch Kinkster Bas over Sex in a Cage (a.k.a. Tuxedo).

Podcast Guest Resources: Bas

On Breathplay: The Risks of Strangulation and Chokeholds

Disclaimer

This writing is intended to share some insight on the risks of breathplay through strangulation and the risks that come with it, or the lack thereof, depending on how you want to absorb this information. This is not intended for any kind of breathplay other than strangulation. Waterboarding, taking away oxygen through closing the mouth and nose, or by bagging and/or masks has entirely different risks that I am no expert in.

I am not a doctor. Nor am I the greatest source of information on strangulation. Always check all the information you take from any source, including me. Challenge me, question me, question the information provided by me and especially in BDSM, take from this what suits you as a person.
About the sources listed below… Some of these are people I know personally and that are outside of the kink community. Though I would love to name them by their full name (which would undoubtedly support any and all arguments below) I chose to respect their privacy and not give their full names. If you have any questions for them, please do let me know and I will contact them to see if they would be up for a chat on this topic.

Breathplay is like… Super safe. A bold statement. And really, it isn’t. There are however incredibly logical reasons to assume that strangulation is safe, simply based on the next statement: We turned strangulation into a game. For kids. We call it Judo. Or Brazilian Ju Jutsu, or grappling, wrestling, Sambo, Ju Jutsu or MMA. And aside from Judo, that often states a minimum age of 12 (TWELVE!) to have strangulation legally applied in competition, all of these sports start training strangulation to children from a very young age on up. Personally I was taught my first strangulation at the age of 9 and most of the kids I teach nowadays are about 11 when they start strangling their friends. Now for the fun of it, google deaths by strangulation in any of these martial disciplines. I know right?! Right?

So assuming we feel safe enough to make strangulation into a game that we allow our children to play as well, we oughta feel safe to do this as responsible adults in a loving situation that is a lot less frantic than your average MMA fight. An anecdote: I HATED tapping out so much! So much so, that if I was caught in a perfect strangle hold in any of my fights, and I would be completely unable to escape it, I’d relax a little, and let myself pass the fuck out. Wake me up when the losing bit is over. Luckily, I have made more people pass out by strangulation than I have passed out myself. It is safe to say I have seen a little over 250 bodies go limp and no one died or had any medical issues of note. Aside from a sore throat. But, in my humble opinion, it is ok for a martial artist to be sore every now and then.

On a BDSM level. No one in my workshops, or workshops of others that I have heard of, nor any of my playpartners have had any negative effect from strangulation or passing out. This is important because of statistics. But there’s a catch! I am heavily experienced. Much more than you can expect from the average BDSM practitioner. I strangle well and keep in mind all the risks, know how to recognize them and I know what to do when something goes bad. And when something does go less smoothly than I had hoped I know how to handle that calmly. This is comparable to what we would find with people that are really good with rope. In particular with suspensions. They are often times seasoned practitioners and are aware of, and prepared for, all the risks that suspension comes with. This is also comparable to what we find with people that practice cutting, needles or hook suspensions. They are seasoned, well educated and are aware of, and prepared for, all the risks that their kink holds. The advantage, if you will, of breath play through strangulation is that it is easier to teach, and less can go wrong than with, say, the other examples given.

So really you claim that there aren’t any risks? Oh hells to the no. Strangulation can kill! As much as falling out of a 12-foot high suspension, or an infection you got at a cutting session. But much like with rope and knives, it comes forth from not being careful enough, or not being seasoned enough. The risks often mentioned are very real.

To sum up a few:

Brain Damage: Occurs every time you stop the blood flow to the brain. Every breathplay session will kill a few brain cells. Same counts for any time you let your kid do judo. Or when you drink a beer. Or when you get a knock on the head. Though we are aware of the risks, everyone makes this choice for themselves and themselves alone.
Damage : You can damage your trachea, or glands, or neck, or any other bit or piece in there really, during breathplay. But it is hard. Incredibly hard. The human body is made for endurance. Not to say it can not break, just that it is hard. Only when we add speed, to mass, we get the energy needed to cause damage to the inner bits. I once accidentally gave a full frontal kick right to the trachea of my opponent. And my first thought was that I had most likely killed him instantly. Well.. he fell down. Tapped out. Got up. Walked out. And the next day I called him and he sounded like Tom Jones and it hurt like hell but nothing was broken. Counter argument… this was a very very strong athlete.
Asphyxiation: When we apply a chokehold asphyxiation can occur. I have had this happen in fights a couple of times. Once I got in a chokehold so tight I could not escape it and I had to tap out while having to cough. The pressure applied disabled me to cough and biology set in. My body started shaking all by itself. He let go. I coughed uncontrollably for about… 2 minutes… until my body had realized there was nothing stuck in my throat. Coughing is the body’s way to get out whatever it is that is stuck in your throat. If this somehow does not work, it starts shaking as well to further loosen whatever might be stuck. In BDSM, going to this point is kinda… weird. Choking your partner’s trachea for so long and with so much force that their body goes past the coughing reaction and into the shaking reaction is past the limits I would go with a choke on the trachea.
Fainting: Oh a definite risk whenever we block the bloodflow to the brain! For some it’s a goal, for others an option and for others again, a surprise. The body fainting is the body recognizing blood is not getting into the brain. Therefore, lying flat is better, making it easier to get said blood into your computer. The body does this weeeeelll before it is highly needed, in order to not have your computer fry.
Death: Yes a risk. But so incredibly hard to do. Honestly I would say the death bit is as likely in strangulation in a BDSM session as it is while, say, playing soccer. The deaths that have been recorded were almost all from auto asphyxiation (choking yourself. Not smart) and bagging (I should not have used a ziplock, tiewrap, chain and a 16digit numeral lock to keep the airtight bag over her or his head).

So when shouldn’t we do breathplay?

You have a low bloodpressure
You have a high bloodpressure
You have a history of cardiac arrest
You are obese
You are pregnant
You have a fever
You have a brain Aneurysm
You have had no education in breathplay
You have no knowledge of first aid
You can’t read

And when WOULD we do breathplay through strangling?

You checked your medical condition
You checked how skilful your partner is
You are honest about this all
You think passing out from a bloodchoke is heaven

Taking this into account… It is all about making choices in life. Am I aware of the risks I take when I step in my car, and am I able, to the best of my knowledge, to maneuver said car safely through traffic? If yes, I will get in my car and drive. Am I aware of the risks hanging this beautiful person upside down from the ceiling tied to one foot and am I able, to the best of my knowledge, to maneuver said person safely through this experience? If yes, I will hang this person from my ceiling. Am I aware of the risks I take when I momentarily stop the bloodflow from this person in order to make this beautiful person pass out? And am I able, to the best of my knowledge, to maneuver this person safely through this experience? If yes, I will choke this person out.

In conclusion… Is this Safe Sane and Consensual? Nah. Neither would be rope or hooksuspension. This is Risk Aware, Sane and Consensual. But if you are truly aware, and truly sane. Breathplay can be so much fun. I am open to any and all questions and or arguments on this. But I will not go in to discussions with trolls. Let’s use all this as a solid base with answers for people interested in breath play.

(Sources: Marc v. H. -Kinesiologist, Said A.-Heart Surgeon, Judo Bond Nederland-Dutch Judo Union, The Iron Gate (.com)-BDSM resource and knowledge database, Fetlife.com-Kinky community platform, Karel B.-Expert on policing and law, JSonline-Article on sportsdeaths, Mixedmartialarts(.com)-Mixed Martial Arts Website, Wikipedia-Shamed to say, used this to crosscheck, Corné S.-Martial Arts Instructor & Ellis A.-Martial Arts Instructor)

Podcast:

Breath Play, Knife Play and Power Dynamics

💌PODCAST GUEST FEEDBACK💌

“I received an invite from SafferMaster having to do with my writing on powerdynamics. Him and Lady_Petra do a podcast together called “Kinky Cocktail Hour”. So far I’ve listened to about 20 of them and there’s plenty more for me to enjoy. Their judgement-free, open and fun podcasts are absolutely great and I would most certainly recommend having a listen. The best part for me in the podcast recording yesterday was how you two challenged me. I’d like to thank them once again for challenging me, enjoying a drink with em, and an overall great experience.” Bas_B (September 24th, 2020; S1 E161) c/o Guest Interview Experience

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Sex in a Cage (a.k.a. Tuxedo)

*I was so excited to enjoy this cocktail, I forgot the twists…😜

INGREDIENTS

4 oz. Tanqueray Gin
4 oz. Dolin Dry Vermouth
2 tsp. Luxardo The Original Maraschino Cherries🍒 Liquid
1 tsp. Mephisto Absinthe Classique
12 dashes Fee Brothers 1864 West Indian Orange🍊 Bitters
2 Lemon🍋 Twists
Ice🧊 Cubes

PREPARATION

Add Gin, Vermouth, Cherries🍒 Liquid, Absinthe, Bitters & Ice🧊 Cubes to a Mixer Tin.
Shake for 30-seconds.
Strain into a chilled Martini Glass.
Garnish with a Lemon🍋 Twist.

ORIGIN

UNKNOWN

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